“You’re worried about us?” I asked after a short pause.
“Of course!” he replied, his voice full of despair. “And you’re not?”
“That girl almost died right in front of your eyes, and your biggest concern is that someone might find out we were there?” I was frustrated. I still couldn’t shake the image of her motionless hand from my mind.
“To hell with her, she’s a stupid… uh,” Sunny waved his hand.
“What’s wrong with you?” I went up to him, grabbed him by the shoulders and began to shake. “Who are you, and where is Sunny? Huh?”
He pushed me away and sat on the edge of the coffee table.
“What can I do? How can I help her? Everyone seemed to be out for themselves, and only thinking about saving their own skin.”
“Why the hell do you need all of this?” I asked.
“This?” he questioned.
“This!” I threw up my hands, “drunken parties, drugs …”
“Dude, it’s cool!”
“What’s cool? I saw that girl. Oh, she was cool alright, deathly cool. Why on earth did you want me to come with you yesterday?”
“I wanted to show you real life.”
“Real life? C’mon, you call this a ‘life’?” I was shocked. What had happened to him over the last six months?
“It’s cool, it’s fun, it’s exciting!” He got up and came up to me. “It’s much more interesting than sitting at home every evening with stupid comics.”
“They’re not stupid,” I said through clenched teeth.
“And why the hell do you draw those stupid pictures?” He came too close.
“Because I like to,” I answered.
“And I do what I like.” he said as he walked away from me.
“But I doubt that I will end up like that girl with my stupid pictures,” I said under my breath.
“And I don’t care,” he shouted back. “I don’t care what happens to me. But at least I have experienced life!”
“Life, yeah,” I laughed sarcastically.
“Yeah, life. I take everything I want, and you can’t even come close to Annie. You’re a loser!” He spat out his words.
“Take a look at yourself.”
I grabbed my jacket and went out onto the porch. I was trying to fasten my zip, but couldn’t manage it. I was beside myself with anger and resentment. What happened to him? We were the best of friends. We had always understood each other without even needing to speak, so what now? The gulf between us was growing wider and wider. Damn! I pulled the zip again and pressed my fist to my mouth. I wanted to scream, but then I felt Sunny’s hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw him standing barefoot on the cold porch and looking at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
We went back into the house.
“I can’t control myself,” he explained as he sat on the couch with his elbows resting on his knees. “I lose my temper and hurt people who are close to me, but I don’t want to. Damn!”
“I’m not angry with you,” I said. “I just want to be a part of your life, whatever that is.” I was standing in front of him with my hands in my jacket pockets. “You are my only friend.”
“You’re mine too.” he replied.
