Feel yourself like at home - страница 11

Before concluding this section, I must note that “Armaveree” has its own underlying philosophical context. To give an illustration, I recall how many years ago I was left with two teen sons without a stable income, nearly without a home, and with no perspective for life improvement. At that period, people often wished me “Arma!”, and always added “Gayrat et!” (“Courage to you!”).

“The more you live the more you know…»

I will now relate an observation I made fifteen years after graduating from school, at a sad event at the funeral of the grandmother of my future ex-wife (excuse me for this expression but currently this is the most exact way I can refer to her). Due to a combination of the circumstances (the gloomy atmosphere of the funeral meal, and my very first introduction to the new relatives, which by itself created a serious stress for me) I was totally lost thinking whom to greet first and whom at second turn, whether I should I shake hands, whether I should take a seat in a corner or join the helpers, and so on.

Perplexed, I decided simply to follow my father-in-law and to repeat what he would do. Later, of course, naturally not to get further confused, I enhanced my knowledge purposedly and practiced behavioral skills at other crowded meetings.

It appeared that at Turkmen community events, when you need to greet the guests who came earlier than you, you should proceed directly to most respected yashuli, or a man of similar status (a community leader, the oldest relative, a head of the administration). The best way (frankly, the only way) is to exchange a couple of warm words with this man while shaking hands and then to pass to the others, doing the same with everyone, going counterclockwise.

Handshaking styles

A common handshake, such a simple gesture at first sight, will sparkle with special colors and shades under a more attentive glance.

First, please, remember: your hand clasp should be vigorous, involving all fingers. Unfortunately, I have to emphasize this because several years ago some spoiled city chaps “invented” a weird handshake – they just inserted a couple of fingers (or merely one!) into a palm of a newcomer and slightly bent them, instead of shaking the hand of a person who greets them. Luckily the manner did not take root, and rapidly disappeared even among the teens. Very rarely, but you may still meet this manner today. Don’t follow it, please!

Among the Turkmens, one always must shake hands at greeting, using the right hand shaking right hand. Although, if you have a trauma, and your right palm is bandaged, you may either use the left hand, or present your right elbow for other person’s handclasp.

A younger person should greet a senior person with both hands. Also, I ought to emphasize that the handshake with both hands is a sign of special respect and, moreover, of an honor towards the greeted person. Additionally, the host would extend both hands for a handshake to welcome a long-expected and favored family guest.

However, I would like to mention here quite a specific aspect, again related to handshaking as the main method of a Turkmen greeting. Perhaps, a stranger would not pay any special attention to subtle hints indicating courteous rudeness. I am using such hints myself more often than I would wish. An unaccustomed person could be deceived by them buying ones as a proper welcoming procedure. Where at and what is a difference?