Learn to love. 30 tips how to live - страница 4

Question 3. Does he like me? How would I understand that?

I love «an aging» man who is not married. The difference in age is 15 years. I think that he likes me, but he doesn’t do anything to expose his feelings. Now I understand that he is ashamed of his age. I am all tired out.

Answer. You are writing that he doesn’t express his feelings. As a matter of fact, if a man is interested in you, he looks at you more often and for longer periods of time. However, if your man is smart, he can control himself. Then he deliberately won’t look at you. Or he will take a rapid glance. Here is one more sign: if a man likes a woman, he will try to be close to her, for example, sit near her. He will find any excuse to do so. In my opinion the most accurate sign though is his joy when he sees you. Any woman can sense this joy, but she often mistakes it for friendliness.

Question 4. He has disappeared. What am I to do?

«I met John last summer. During that fall he wrote five love letters to me. And then nothing since the beginning of winter. I am going crazy. It is February now. Maybe he has the flu. I am going to visit him because he will die without me. Kate.»

Answer. Certainly, Kate, go visit him! Smart people learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from other people’s mistakes. Fools think that they live without mistakes. When I was young and innocent, at the age of 17 I fell in love with your typical «John». I fell in love with his guitar when he played the Beatles, his long hair, jeans and red socks. It was supposed to be our third date and he never came. His friend told me that John had the flu. And I ran to him. I felt that my actions were not smart, but I didn’t have time to think about it. He is sick! He is unwell! With the remaining part of my brain I decided that I would only ring the door bell, give him a bouquet of some flowers and leave. I thought that it wouldn’t be obtrusive but quite the opposite. It ended up being obtrusive.

Pale and weak John opened the door. He didn’t really care about my flowers, but invited me to come in. The remaining part of my brain simply disappeared and I did come in. Some other guy was visiting John. The three of us didn’t have anything to talk about. So we were sitting silently. The other guy was waiting for me to leave, and I was waiting for him to leave. It lasted for an hour. I became the girl who was not fun (but in reality I am a lot of fun). I realized this and finally left. Apparently John remembered me as a boring girl, because he never asked me out again.

Question 5. He writes to me, but he doesn’t offer to meet

I am 54 and I want to get married (this would be my second marriage). So I am trying to find somebody online. Last May a met a French man online. We still talk a lot on Skype and write to each other. I feel something electric toward him. Moreover, I have never heard love confessions like his. He often writes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that he is ready to talk to me on Skype every evening. I told him that if he wasn’t ready to come visit me, then our relationship wouldn’t have any future. He promised to solve this within two months.

Two months later I started the conversation again. He immediately became agitated. He said that he would be able to take time off only in February and booked tickets to come. On the one hand, I am afraid that closer to February something will happen and he won’t come. So I have been waiting in vain. On the other hand, he means a lot to me. I would like to continue our relationship. I am afraid to issue an ultimatum – either you come, or we will break up. Our communication is virtual. As of right now, nobody is obliged to do anything. What would you advise in this situation?