LONER IN THE RUSH HOUR CROWD. I AM GOING TO KILL - страница 22

On the one hand, the «lack of personnel» is distressing. I came not then to walk twice. It turns out the shortfall of the plan. But on the other hand… As a finished materialist, I cannot fail to recognize the law of the unity and struggle of opposites. Therefore, the other party must have a place to be – and has. And on the other hand, my task is made easier: «it is impossible to grasp the immensity». It was only the hero of the song, who could smugly say: «I am the holder of the sky with strong hands!». For all their fortresses, my hands will not suffice not only to heaven, but also to the piece of the earth! We, realists, must be… realists! After all, optimizing two dozen violators – namely, so many violates the rules of the road today – and remaining incognito at the same time is akin to a feat in the square!

And I «go to the goal» with peace of mind. For additional calm for the time of work, I «turn off» the soul. Even «iron Felix» the Chekist’s parameters: «hot heart» and «cold head». And am I not a security officer?! At least, along the line of work in the deep underground, even under his window?! That and it: the security officer!

First of all – the second after reconnaissance – I produce inventory. There are in stock five goals for twenty-four units. I must manage, because it is necessary. There is a word: «We must!» And we, fools, have such a right, which is a duty: first to jerk a stripped vest on the chest, and then – from the trench! Nothing obliges us, but we still do it! But if you took a tug – take away life and the jackpot! I do not need a jackpot – I need lives! And therefore, not even called, I answer: «Yes!» I answer myself – not to someone else’s man, who sometimes says, it seems, the right words, but it turns out, as in the saying: «Not the mistress who says – but the one who cooks soup!»

All car owners are of the titular nation. «Aliens do not go here», especially, they do not drive. This simplifies my task even more: our «love» is mutual. Because I used to perceive Kipling as abstract literature – about the fact that «there,» they have it.»

Take up the White Man’s burden —

Send forth the best ye breed —

Go bind your sons to exile

To serve your captives’ need;

To wait in heavy harness

On fluttered folk and wild —

Your new-caught sullen peoples,

Half devil and half child.»

Now I read these verses as an autobiography. And so the bill to «those who are», I have a little bit personal. But it is a seasoning to the dish: the objectivity of the consumer does not interfere. On the contrary: promotes learning – in this case, of the souls of men. Conditionally human: after all, «the owners of life» are «beings of a higher order». That is how they themselves and «position», in vain, that they themselves – only in the first generation are not «from the plow». But conditionally human they are for me. True, «from the other side»: nothing human, with the exception of external resemblance, I do not observe in them. Therefore, I agree with the classification: «creatures». And, if they are beings, then I have no sin either. Sin is our human construction «for internal use» only. Therefore, I do not even need an indulgence: there is no crime object.

Is it conceptual confusion? «Mixing genres»? It may be, although, hardly. But if this is so, it is not from a lack of thoughts and arguments. And those and others – an excess, even though the competition arrange! Now I am satisfied: I have not one line of defense, but as many as you like! And every argument is like a bayonet! And all together they stand like a mountain for me! But I’m not hiding behind them. I just declare their presence to all interested parties, and, above all – to me, because we, intellectuals, love to delve into the soul. We love to tear it up and turn it inside out. But when she is under the reinforced concrete foundation of authority, when she is in a bullet-proof vest of arguments and arguments – try, dig it up! And I have such a defense – «blood from the nose»! I have to go to work! What are we security officers, if not with a cool head?!