Today I am a plumber. Needless to say, I made the blockage myself: I had to visit the nearest collector. I can’t clog it «from the main entrance»: from the closed room of the «closed» club. Only the «highest» crap of the «highest» persons is allowed there. Therefore I’m not going to work from the front porch, but from the back up. My «sanitary view» in the face of the imminent threat of faecalization of the institution is not only credible, but also universal enthusiasm. What kind of passport issue can I talk about: all my requisites are on face, smeared and fragrant by no means French cologne!
It is difficult to identify a specific person in me, but it is not difficult to identify a textbook plumber. Therefore, I can easily get admission to all «leaking» and «threatening to leak» rooms. I almost skillfully imitate the vigorous activity on the approaches to the toilet, and then already is the «matter of technology». And this time: not plumbing.
I have no doubt that, as a result of a habit that has long become a tradition, my client will first of all visit the «institution for men». There is a lot to drink today – and, therefore, it is necessary to «free the place». The guard escorts the «client» to the very doors. And not to the door of the toilet: to the door stall. I have time to «show my passport» «in the face» of the fragrant sewage of the special equipment, as well as the plumbing set of a small suitcase and a wire «ruff». Therefore, my presence, animated by long intricate wishes «to assholes, shitty toilet», does not cause any questions. Especially as a wrench I knock on pipes no worse than a professional. Checking the neighboring booths, comrades are convinced that it is – just me, and graciously allow me to continue to «dig in the shit».
«Client» mastered on the toilet seat in the booth next door. He, of course, prefers to distance himself from the proletariat, but there is nowhere: all other places are «excluded from the list» personally by me: I «brought them out of circulation», «fertilized» and «refreshed» them. They are not ready to work with clients, but they are ready to work with this client. More precisely, they provide me with the possibility of such work. In such a case as ours, rely on the case – that head on the block! In any case, I rely only on such a case, which I myself prepared, I myself handed over and accepted for operation. My client had to go exactly to the place prepared for him – and he went there. We were supposed to be good neighbors, even not for long. And we became them.
I want to give a little help on the topic of «bloody boys in the eyes». So, here: no «boys»! Behind the partition, the Honored Worker of all affairs and affairs, the people’s fighter with the people, the Honored Master of Sins of every suit and honorary donor «in the opposite direction» groans and torments – bloodsucker, in a word. He has already attempted, but only with unsuitable means in the form of complaints and denunciations. Despite their persuasiveness, they did not convince the testers. Because «who are the judges?!» Foolish people: «crucians have brought pike to pike court»! Yes, and then: you can’t break through this with mortars, not like paperwork.
Therefore, about peace of mind, I cannot worry: the client has already bothered for me. And, as soon as he groans, I «open the window», such small, a round, like «peephole». I open it with a slight creak, which only the client can hear. I need the area of «fire». When the customer’s surprised-alert eye is combined with a hole and «goes to the line of fire», I «pull the shutter». «Comrade» grunts – and «quacks». This is certainly perceived as another attempt out of the door.
