[23]! It seemed like Miles had no history. He was sensitive and happy, as if every day was a fresh start. We don’t expect much from a small child, but there was something sensitive and at the same time happy about this beautiful little boy. He was never hurt, not for a second. I took this as a direct disproof[24] of the fact that he was really punished. If he was bad, I would have noticed something. But I found nothing, so he must be an angel. He never talked about his school, friends, or teachers, and I didn’t want to ask about them. I was under their spell, even though I knew it. But being with them was a distraction from any pain, even though I had other problems. I got sad letters from home, but my children were the most important thing in the world. That’s what I thought during my alone time. I was amazed by their beauty.
There was a Sunday when it rained a lot, so we couldn’t go to church. If the weather got better in the evening, I planned to go with Mrs. Grose to the church later. Luckily, the rain stopped and I got ready for our walk. It would take about twenty minutes to get to the village through the park and the good road. Before meeting Mrs. Grose in the hall, I remembered that I had left a pair of gloves upstairs. They needed to be fixed with three stitches, which I had done. I went upstairs to get the gloves. As soon as I entered the room, I saw the gloves on a chair near the window. I also noticed a person on the other side of the window looking inside. It was the same person I had seen before. This time, I could see him better, and it felt like he was closer to me. Something, however, happened this time that had not happened before; he was looking at my face with the same deep and hard look as before, but this look left me for a second, and I could see him moving from one thing to another. It made me feel surprised and cold. I suddenly realized that he wasn’t there for me. He had come for someone else.
I ran along the terrace and turned a corner, but there was nothing to see. My visitor was gone. I looked around, but there was no one. The terrace, the lawn, the garden, and the park were empty. I felt sure that he wasn’t hiding in the bushes or trees. He was either there or not there. If I couldn’t see him, he wasn’t there. I realized this and instead of going back the way I came, I went to the window. I knew I should stand where he had stood. I did so and looked into the room. Just as I had done, Mrs. Grose came in from the hall. She saw me and stopped. I scared her just like he had scared me. She turned pale, and I wondered if I turned pale too. She looked and went back the way I had come. I knew I would see her soon. I stayed where I was and thought about many things. But there’s only one thing I have time to say. I wondered why she was scared.
Oh, she told me right away, when she came. “What’s wrong?” She was out of breath.
I didn’t say anything until she came closer. “With me? I must have made a strange face. Do I show it?”
“You’re as white as a sheet. You look terrible.”
I thought about it; I could tell her the truth. I held her hand tightly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her being close to me. There was comfort in the surprise on her shy face. “You came to get me for church, of course, but I can’t go.”
“Did something happen?”
