It is impossible to fully understand the process of the birth of the sacred Lingam. I tried to find out from some older devotees exactly how this happens. Interestingly, two people told me the same version, referring to the fact that they themselves learned this directly from Sathya Sai Baba himself. One of those who told me about the process of the birth of the Lingam was Padananda, and a little later, Subba Rao told me the same version.
According to these two, the Lingam originates in the stomach of Sathya Sai Baba as a powerful energy clot and then the energy flow rises through his body and acquires an ovoid shape once in his mouth. Then, the Lingam literally pops out of the mouth. Consequently, the people present see only the last stage of the birth of the cosmic Lingam.
I prefer not to call Sathya Sai Baba, Swami, as many do, but Bhagavan. In my life I have traveled to different ashrams and studied in different esoteric schools. For me, Swami is a title that is not significant enough for Sathya Sai Baba.
Swami is the word for any man on the spiritual path, especially if he is a monk of one of the traditional Vedic monastic orders. Bhagavan in Sanskrit is a title that is only used to address the supreme divine teacher. Bhagavan is one who is an Avatar and the embodiment of absolute truth.
After I learned about Sathya Sai Baba, I was able to go to him almost immediately. My trips were not by decision or choice and I did not make any effort; they just seemed to unfold before me – everything happened easily and naturally. Events simply turned out so that I was suddenly able to go to India. My first trip happened so spontaneously I did not have even the slightest illusion of free choice; the same could be said about all other trips.
I lived for a long time in all three ashrams of Sathya Sai Baba – in Puttaparthi, Whitefield, and Kodaikanal. Sathya Sai Baba spent most of his time at Puttaparthi, which is the main ashram located in his home village. During the hot season, April and May, he moved to two additional ashrams, Whitefield and Kodaikanal.
It's funny to think about it now, but during the ‘90s it seemed, to us, Sathya Sai Baba already had too many people in the ashram. Sometimes he would say, "you don't understand, the time will soon come when there will be so many people here I will turn into a small orange dot for you."
This is what happened at the beginning of the 2000s, the number of visitors increased dramatically. People could hardly fit in the main temple. Due to the huge influx of people, Sathya Sai Baba became very inaccessible.
In the ‘90s, it was effortless to have direct contact with Sathya Sai Baba, or so it seemed to us. When we came to the program, it was not difficult to find a position in the front rows allowing us to see Sathya Sai Baba up close every day.
In those years, Sathya Sai Baba quite often invited me for personal conversations; this time is now remembered with joy. He interacted especially with Russian-speaking groups. People in the ‘90s believed with enviable confidence that if they came to the ashram, they would definitely have the opportunity to personally communicate with Sathya Sai Baba. These were truly golden years!
Quite often, groups visiting for just a month would get several face-to-face meetings with Sathya Sai Baba. These conversations were called interviews.
