After turning off the music and closing algebra book, mother sat next to her son. Putting away pen and notebook, Max looked at the mother sitting near and noticed by her reddish face that she was crying and worried about him. He always felt bad when the most precious person in his life – his mom – is suffering so much because of him. He was getting frustrated with himself involuntary for giving even a little reason for concerns. He always tried to avoid it and be an adult. It was the right thing to do, but that was something that was scaring his mother. Maxim thought that she was afraid to loose him because he was growing up. However, if he started to act childishly she was becoming irritated: she started to yell at him, showing her disapproval and reminded that she considered him an adult and not the little kid. Maxim had no idea how to deal with the situation. However, he knew that the best thing was to ask his mother weather to take a certain action or not. When he was telling something to his mom, she always put herself in the situation and was not interested or cared for situation. When something was very important for Max, mother thought that it was absolutely not necessary for him. He tried to tell it to his mom all the time but she didn’t understand. At those moments it seemed that she does not try to understand him, or (more then likely) just can’t. He assumed that she loved him very much, more then he loves her, if that could be possible. Every time when Max talked to her he tried to think of something insignificant or to discuss topics that were important to her. He tried to talk of those things easily and acceptably, as if he let know that everything connected with her was interesting. Son felt that they both can’t feel relaxed when spending time together. He could feel his mother’s worries and did not know how to start a dialog: her inner concerns reached him and he could not fight them.
– I was informed that the teacher won’t be able to visit me. I need to learn everything by myself and when I am back to school she would check all my assignments.
Max was looking at his mom and it seemed that she didn’t hear him, thinking about her own problems.
– What is the reason she can’t visit you?
– She does not feel good and missed three weeks at school.
– I see. Why did she call then if you study at home anyway?
– She wanted to find out how I am feeling. She is concerned.
– As if. She just does not want to waste her time, so told you that she is sick.
– Come on, mom. It is not necessary for her to come over at all, I can manage studies by myself. If she does not want to come over, it is fine. I won’t die from that! It is good that she called, I am glad.
– Did you check the temperature today? Your head is hot. You should go and lay down as the doctor advised.
– I need to catch up on studies and do a lot of readings. I am bored of staying in bed.
– Do your readings in bed. You are so weak, Maximka. You were weak after the surgery, and then broke a bone…
Mother started to cry again, hugging him, and he felt very guilty and upset because of his weakness and her sufferings, so that he could not continue sitting anymore and said:
– Mom, let me lay down, I don’t feel good.
Holding tears, she helped Maxim to lie down and left the room, leaving him alone. He was trying to fight dizziness again, which handicapped his thinking just like the gypsum – his ability to walk. Weakness was draining him out so much, that he felt as thought he had no strength for any action. It is not known for how long he would have to stay in bed. Max understood that he won’t feel better, vice versa, something is disturbing him, pushing on him. One thing was very clear: he needs to fight hard and not to give up despite all difficulties. There is no need to concentrate attention on the weakness or feelings which confuse him. He must proceed further without taking breaks since procrastination is equal to death.
