Suddenly everything stopped. The heaviness, tonnes of cements left her body, agony died down. But anger didn’t leave Kharon. He silently watched the girl, grasping the air. She was crying because of offence and weakness, impossibility to get what her heart had been yearning.
‘God forgive me…’ Victoria got on her knees, put her hands over her face and burst into hysteria. ‘What am I doing? God, I beg you… Our Father, which art in heaven! Hallowed be thy name…’
She was praying, clinging onto her tears, burrowed her forehead into the floor. Kharon was looking at the crazy picture, then hunkered down and took the girl by the hand.
‘Our Father? Seriously?’ he asked severely, ‘do you really think it works?’
‘I’m agonized!’ the girl wept. ‘My feelings for you… I’m betraying God! If you exist, then He exists! I want Him to get you out of my head! I don’t wanna think of you anymore, I don’t wanna see you anymore. I don’t wanna you touch me anymore… But I can’t master unruly my feelings… God will help me!’
‘God?’ Kharon kindly looked at Victoria and with implausible grin. ‘Victoria,’ he kissed her, pressing her to himself. ‘You will not call me again. You will not do, even try to do any magic on me. You will not even think of me until you are ready to give me what I’m asking… or I shall have to kill you.’
Kharon didn’t stop kissing the girl, her tears, her lips and cheeks. She was listening to his forbidding and by every second, by his every word she understood her be getting worse and worse.
‘I shall not see you anymore, good-bye’ the demon whispered.
Victoria opened her red eyes: she was alone. Suddenly she was broken through with electricity. It was a dawn, mess was in the room like tornado and earthquake had been there, the pentacle was in the floor, candle wax was everywhere, pages were thrown about… Vic was sitting on the floor and weeping.
Was Kharon right? Was it a lust or a love seed for something forbidden? Was it love for a creature which didn’t deserve to be loved actually? That man… He was so charming, so handsome and attractive to be the truth. The heart fell in love with an ideal skin at that time her mind endlessly whispered about true essence. He just mocked her. You and a thousand-year-old demon? Love? Who do you think you are, dear?
Reality. Welcome back. How many people begged God make them face the reality? To show them what was really going on in the world? Victoria begged God take her out of harm’s way where her heart was bogged down. But He didn’t hear her. Probably because she was so quietly asking Him, and she didn’t really want the reality. Uncertainty confused the minds without bringing stability.
Crying, wiping her tears away, hating herself, Victoria was washing the floor, destroying the trace of the Sabbath. She put the candle ends into the cases, placed the scan pages. Broken-hearted, with sunrays caressed the earth, Victoria went to bed. There was emptiness again. No dreams. No visions. Inanimation…
13
>th
June 2013 (Thursday)
Pale-face students were running everywhere, whispering, shaking the cheat sheets, praying. It was a philosophy final examination.
Victoria was sitting near the auditorium with a book, answers for test questions, carefully reading everything that she had had to read within 5 years. She needed just a few theses, just a little about philosophers, two more pages.
