Otherwise, you risk applying the wrong tool to the wrong situation.
What did I do, where did I go wrong? Very simply, I decided to take as a model of behavior the numerous acquaintances of the heroines, and not how to correctly identify a person while not being so close to him.
If I could smell a catch a mile away, I wouldn’t even start a relationship. If I, like these girls in the last episodes, could see genuine feelings and a real person, sincere, purposeful, then I would simply sweep away all the chaff and not fuss until I met my husband one day.
But, there is a flip side to such suspicion and distrust – to turn into a “prosecutor” who does not trust anyone, and poor men are so exhausted from courtship that they really begin to act weird.
For example, my friend Sonya, a midwife at the maternity hospital, stern and prim with men and humorous, occasionally touchy with girls.
Don’t put your finger in her mouth, let her mock her sarcastically. She was only twenty-three when I watched her “search” for a life partner. She did absolutely nothing. Ah, I remembered, I cried at night. But nothing.
Initially, her belief that everyone lies, cheats, abandons and betrays gave her some self-confidence. Then it became an obsession; she could not carry on a normal conversation without grinning at any romantic or positive remark.
– He loves me.
– Yeah, like a cat gets a new sneaker. As soon as he pees himself, he will fall in love with a new one.
That's about it. Or like this:
– Look what a wonderful day it is today. It's time to meet some handsome guy.
– And pick up the clap.
Well, everything is like that. So funny during the day and sad at night.
It looks like she knew that the hero of her novel was waiting for her somewhere, and therefore did not scatter her attention and was not scattered on the “unworthy.”
This actually deserves respect among women and men. There was one catch, she wasn't pretty at all. Large facial features, a boxer's stoop, which results in low chest and a small tummy. And she would have waited until she turned gray for her betrothed, if one fine day she had not slowed down. It’s good to be strong if there are actually enemies all around. But fortunately, most people are positive, only a handful ruin everyone's life.
Sonya began to preen herself, loosen her long braid more often, and exchanged her glasses for contact lenses. I finally changed my anger to mercy. Apparently crying at night really tired her out.
How was this expressed? Sonya began to coo to everyone, only occasionally making fun of them.
Since she did not change her clothes (all the same auntie’s blouses), men did not develop the image of a sexy woman. They began to see her as a woman, but not for easy flirting, but for a serious relationship.
Thin? Crazy. I admire her idea. She quickly found herself a husband and has been living with a handsome man for a long time.
I couldn’t apply it to myself then. My sexuality and cooing were turning into something else.
In a society of men, such an image does not arouse the desire to get married.
You can't look your best, attract a ton of attention and not be a bitch. Then you will be considered a woman of easy virtue.
If you are beautiful and sexy, then in order to save yourself for your husband, you must be modest or ulcerous. Modesty is also attractive, and everyone can fall for it.
