Note: To read before the wedding - страница 12

We promised to go with each other through life hand in hand, together experiencing the joy of happy days and sorrows. Young, with not strong enough mind and balanced forecasts for the future they refer to love so easily! They think love will help them to overcome everything. They fulfill forms in the registry office in a rush dreaming of the best future. Yes, of course love can definitely overcome everything, forgive, change the character, teach you how to ‘spend’ yourself for your partner and get a real pleasure from it. Only it is not just a guy's attraction to a girl, it is not only a desire. Such love – is a spiritual work on your consciousness, on your natural laziness and selfishness so that each of your word, movement or deal makes your beloved better. Try to find these strings in your partner in crime, perhaps they will be able to tune in unison with the true love, with your desire to build your family hearth in delightful estimates. Life shows that people begin to think about this as they grow up but certainly not when we are at the age of 18. So you also can grow up, if all the sentences does not make any sense to you.

Why does the age play a crucial role in this choice? Why do you think of him as an angel at 18 and closer to 30 you ‘do not have enough fresh air’ and now you would not have married him in any way? What has happened over the years? The answer is very simple – growing up and opening the ‘package’. After re-reading the book I hope that you will become more practical, analyze your current and former relationships, and become older in this issue.

It doesn't come for our mind to expect a 5 year old child to be a 10 year old, or from a 15 year old girl to be a 25 year old woman? We are waiting for the natural growth of children, when they will step by step learn the rules of behavior, what is allowed and what is not. We teach them by our own example and try to learn from others too. At this age, when the child is not yet able to think sensibly and practically himself, we have full responsibility and control over him. We do not let him stumble, get burned, ‘make a real mess of things’. But after 18 and sometimes even earlier, children begin to make their own decisions and do some stuff in which we do not have time to interfere or we are not allowed. Children do not let us because they consider themselves as already experienced persons and they have been waiting for so long to say "I will figure it out", "I know how it would be better", etc. What remains for parents? They can only try to advise but in the matter of choosing your fiancé, the probability of influence at this age is almost absent, at least in most families.

If you are 18 years old or approximately 18 today, my advice to you – do not rush to get married, do not be in a hurry because it would not be you to say a very popular phrase among divorced people in 5–10 years: "If I understood it then." It would be more logical and useful in order to reduce divorce – to allow marriage, for example, after 25 years, a kind of 25+ law. There would be of fewer mistakes. This sometimes affects not only those who say ‘marry me’ and those who say ‘I am getting married’, but also their parents. One girl's parents shared a similar situation that happened in their lives. Their daughter abruptly got married, and the parents were forced to take the credit for the wedding. After 3 months, their daughter said that she did not want to live with her husband; apparently very quickly she realized her mistake and divorced him. A year later, she got married for the second time, which means that she did not have enough time to make serious conclusions, but her parents still pay the loan with interest for the first wedding. These are the conflicts and interweaving: for the one person – getting experience from her mistakes, the other – paying for this experience. Although it is a weak argument, but still take care of your parents, please, do not do in your 18 what you need to do after growing up, at least beyond the equator of the third ten.