– Don't worry, my dear, he didn't," Vivian replied calmly, thinking she had been wise to hide her swollen palms under her lace gloves.
And she was telling the truth: Jeremy hadn't raised his voice at her. He raised his whip at her. But Charlotte will never know that, of course.
– He's so strange, your husband," Charlotte grumbled. – Honestly, I'm afraid of him! He's got you locked up in a golden cage, the very best kind of pretender. I can't even find the right words to express my displeasure!
– You are right about that, my dear Charlotte," said Vivian quietly. She held her cup of tea in the palms of her hands, as if trying to warm them. – But let's not talk about him. He is not worthy of us spending even a minute of our time together on him. My husband is out hunting now, and I hope he will not return until late at night. – 'And so tired that he will leave me alone,' mentally added the girl.
– That's even better! – Charlotte said confidently. – They say the Duke of Nightingale and Miss Beckley's engagement ball is in the very midst of preparations, and some say that London has never seen such a splendid ball! That the Prince Regent himself will be there! – she chattered, forgetting Mr. Wington's unfortunate presence. – But poor Miss Beckley! You will outshine her with your beauty on such an important evening!
– I'm not sure I'll be able to go to the ball," Vivian confessed frankly. – Do you remember when I said I wouldn't be disappointed to see the Duke lead his bride to dance? I lied.
– Oh, no, poor thing… You still love him! – Charlotte gasped.
– Do I? – her friend asked thoughtfully. – I don't know if it's love… I don't know if I can love a man after all the horrors of marriage… But the thought that if he were my husband, my life would be full of colour… And there wouldn't be… How can I define it softer… There wouldn't be this hatred… At this thought I feel hurt and sad.. – But then Vivian smiled broadly, set her cup aside and threw two small logs into the fireplace. – The damp is getting to my bones. This house is so big that I can't keep warm, even in my warm dresses. Even my favourite shawl doesn't keep me warm. Jeremy reproaches me for not carrying our first-born child. He wants so much to be a father… I think I would like motherhood… Just think: a little ball of happiness, yours, dear, warm… But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the baby will tie me to Jeremy so tightly that I'll never be able to leave him, even if I wanted to.
– Give up those thoughts, my dear," Charlotte said affectionately. – This child will bring you happiness.
– Either happiness or sorrow," Vivian replied sadly. – 'But I love children. I love them very much. And Jeremy is so anxious for an heir!
– My dear, God will give you a child when He sees fit. Then it's not time yet. – Charlotte finished her tea quickly and announced triumphantly: – "Now take me to the piano! I've learnt a new English ballad!
The girls spent the whole afternoon together. After a rather late dinner Charlotte went home, as she was tired and did not want to meet the master of the house, who, fortunately, had not yet arrived from hunting. It was hard to part, but Vivian promised to come to Lillehus tomorrow after lunch.
When Miss Salton had left Wington Hall, Vivian retired to the library, and hoping that her hated husband would not be home for at least another couple of hours, took one of the books, sat down in a chair by the fireplace, and, opening the first page, ran her fingers lovingly over the fine black letters on the snow-white paper.
