The Puzzle of Elijah - страница 17

“But I wanted a sister,” Kristina started crying.

I comforted Kristina and shared the rest of the news.

“We also have very sad news for you. Your baby brother has many issues with his heart. When he is born, he may not even live long. He might require multiple surgeries and may not come home right away.”

The children were scared. With tears on their eyes, they looked at us, not sure what to ask, how to react or what to answer.

“We need to pray to God and ask Him to heal our baby,” Oleg said. “God is powerful. He heals people, if it is His will.”

Oleg embraced the children in his arms. We all prayed and cried out to God, asking for His mercy.

…….

One week later, while Oleg was at work, I had a second ultrasound at a high-risk Obstetrician/Gynecology clinic.

“Olga, this ultrasound confirms that all the problems with your baby’s heart are real,” summarized the doctor.

“Why did it happen to our baby? Did I do something wrong?” I asked through tears.

“No one knows why the Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome occurs. As with most congenital heart defects, there is no known cause.”

“Can you tell me more about the surgery?” I asked.

“Sure,” the doctor said. “It is a very complicated open-heart surgery. Eighty-five percent of babies survive the first surgery. Less babies survive the second surgery. And a lot less babies survive all three surgeries. With time, their heart becomes very weak. They require a heart transplant. If they can’t wait long enough for the transplant, they die. Only a few individuals live up to thirty years.”

The doctor paused, and I did not know what to say or ask. What a terrible dilemma for a parent to face. Our baby will die if we don’t do the surgery. But, I also didn’t want my baby to go through the pain of surgery…

“Olga, you may consider an abortion,” the doctor said.

“No,” quickly escaped my lips. “I love my baby so much already. There is no way we can do an abortion. I am also from a Christian family and we know that abortion is a sin. I feel that aborting my baby would be the same as killing him. I can’t do that. His life is in God’s hands. I will give my baby all chances for life, and I know God will help me.”

The doctor looked at me, regretfully. He knew I had no idea what I was facing if I decided to go with open-heart surgeries on a newborn baby.

“I will refer you to a cardiologist,” the doctor said. “They will do an echocardiogram, which will show more details of your baby’s heart. Talk to your husband. You still have time to do an abortion, if you decide.”

I left the doctor’s office and called Oleg.

“The ultrasound confirmed again that our baby’s heart is badly malformed and is not going to change,” I said through tears.

“God will help us, Olga. Please don’t cry,” Oleg tried to calm me with little success.

“I can’t accept it. I don’t want to accept it. Why did God let it happen to our baby? Did we do something wrong? Is He punishing us for something?”

“Olga, we don’t know why it happened. You know we didn’t sin. I don’t think God is punishing us. For some reason, He let it happen and He will help us through it,” Oleg did his best to soothe me.

Until that day, I was hoping that it was a mistake, but it seemed that both Oleg and I were powerless, and that God had failed us. Driving home, I cried out to God, hardly seeing the freeway through tears.