HUSBAND. What should I do?
GIRL. Do what you offered to do, I think.
HUSBAND. That would be great. But I don’t know how to start.
GIRL. That’s the most difficult part.
HUSBAND. What do you suggest?
GIRL. To tell the truth, I don’t have any experience.
HUSBAND. You’ve never had an affair with a man?
GIRL. Never! But men sometimes had an affair with me.
HUSBAND. And how did they start?
GIRL. All sorts of ways.
HUSBAND. I think we’re supposed to talk for a while first.
GIRL. What for?
HUSBAND. I don’t know. That’s how it’s done.
GIRL. What should we talk about?
HUSBAND. I don’t know. Books, movies, painting…
GIRL. And how long do we have to talk?
HUSBAND. I don’t know. It depends.
GIRL. Why not to talk afterwards?
HUSBAND. We can talk afterwards, too, but somehow you don’t want to anymore. Usually the talk comes first.
GIRL. Well, if that’s the way it’s supposed to be, then talk. But make it quick.
Pause.
HUSBAND. Under other circumstances I would offer to take you out to a cafe.
GIRL. Thanks. I already had a cup of coffee today. I thought you were proposing something else.
HUSBAND. That offer remains valid.
GIRL. So, what’s the matter?
HUSBAND. You see, sex should not begin from the end; it should begin from the beginning. There should be a resistance, there should be a struggle, and there should be a victory. That’s what brings satisfaction.
GIRL. We have resistance. On your part.
HUSBAND. I’m not resisting.
GIRL. Oh really? Are you being aggressive, then? Well, I surrender. It’s impossible to resist you. So, we’ve had resistance; we’ve had victory; now it’s time for satisfaction.
HUSBAND. But first let's talk.
GIRL. Haven’t we talked already?
HUSBAND. We haven’t even started to talk.
GIRL. Is that so? Well then, let's talk.
Pause.
HUSBAND. What will we talk about?
GIRL. Tell me about your Don Juan list of conquests. I suppose it’s incredibly long.
HUSBAND. Yes, I have a lot to tell …
GIRL. Well, how many women have you had? Tell the truth. Twenty? Thirty? A hundred?
HUSBAND. Maybe more… (After a pause.) To tell the truth though, not quite that many.
GIRL. Well then, how many? Ten?
HUSBAND. Not quite.
GIRL. Less than ten? And you call that a list? Still, I want to know, how many? Nine? Eight?
HUSBAND. (Reflecting). Including my wife?
GIRL. On the Don Juan list? Absolutely not. You can only include women on the list; is your wife really a woman to you?
HUSBAND. Then… I have to admit… I… I don’t have a Don Juan list. I mean, I do have a list, but there are no women on it.
GIRL. So get started it!
HUSBAND. Right here?
GIRL. Yes, right here, right now.
HUSBAND. You know, right here, just like that, it doesn’t seem right.
GIRL. What do you mean, “just like that”?! We’ve already been talking for five or ten minutes now!
HUSBAND. That’s not much. Imagine that you’re about to start traveling across a country that is completely new to you. Is your purpose just to reach the final point? No. You will be looking forward to the whole journey, from beginning to end, over all the hills and valleys, cliffs and canyons, roads and trails. Or, if you open a new book, will you start reading from the last page? Without a beginning there is no plot, without a plot there is no climax. And do you think that the goal of a climber is just to be on top without making the climb? Without having to make an effort, without the climb, there is no summit point, no climax.
