GIRL. I’ll have a climax. But, of course, it depends on you to some extent. So let’s have sex, finally!
HUSBAND. But we are already having it!
GIRL. Really? I am an inexperienced girl, and easy to fool, but it seems to me that we’re doing something else.
HUSBAND. Sex is not what you think, it’s not just the last fifteen minutes. It’s not the curtain falling at the end of the last act; it’s a drama that has to be played out from beginning to end. Words, gestures, looks, serenades, flowers, gifts, advances, retreats, proposals, evasions – they all are a part of the great game called sex. It’s a ceremony, a series of rituals as old as the rutting of deer or the mating dance of cranes. It is a way of life, the foundation of culture. Fine clothes are not just worn to be taken off at the right moment. The most refined rules of etiquette, novels and poems, the sighs of violins and songs of flutes, pictures and sculptures of the beautiful Venus – all of these are created to convey the yearning of body and soul.
GIRL. Listen…
HUSBAND. No, you listen to me! What an intricate interrelation of the sexes mankind has devised! Certain parts of the body are concealed. Different clothes for different sexes. Different standards of behavior for men and women. The “strong heroic man” and the “weak fragile woman.” Don’t you see that none of this is accidental? It all fits together, doesn’t it?
GIRL. Are you all right?
HUSBAND. What do you mean?
GIRL. You’re acting as though you’re from the century before last. You talk too much.
HUSBAND. You oversimplify life.
GIRL. And you make it too complicated. Sex is a very useful, very simple and very necessary thing. Unfortunately, people go about this simple, pleasant and useful act in complicated, roundabout ways and spend a lot of effort, time and money on it. Why not simply approach someone, give them a big smile, stretch your hand and say, “Let’s have sex!” Like saying, “Good morning” or “Good night.” And how can it be a good night without sex?
HUSBAND. You’re right.
GIRL. “Let’s have sex!” should be used as a greeting. What better way to express an openness and willingness to make contact?
HUSBAND. You’re right. And what would be the response to this greeting?
GIRL. Something casual. Like, “Thanks, my pleasure.” Or, “Always at your service.” Or just, “Sure.”
HUSBAND. And how would we say goodbye?
GIRL. There’s no need to change anything. The words “See you later” already have a certain sexual connotation. You can hear in them a promise of something sweet, intimate, and long awaited.... At least I can. (Speaks quietly to herself.) “See you later ….”
HUSBAND. See you later. (Goеs toward the exit.)
GIRL. Where are you going?
HUSBAND. You said, “See you later.”
GIRL. (Stopping him.) I was talking to myself. I swear, you are crazy.
HUSBAND. I’m completely normal. Maybe a bit old-fashioned, that’s all.
GIRL. That is crazy. But we’ve talked enough. Now it’s high time to do something! We live in a time of action. If you’re not always running to keep up, you’ll fall behind.
HUSBAND. (Anxiously). Who can outdo me?
GIRL. Anybody! You talk, talk, talk, and meanwhile someone will come and snatch me from under your very nose.
HUSBAND. (Scared). Will you leave with him?
GIRL. If someone takes me, I’ll leave. I’m a young, inexperienced girl, I don’t know how to resist.
