Submission frightens in a different way. It breaks the illusion of complete control over your life. In a world where weakness is considered a vice, trust becomes an act of bravery. You fear that by trusting, you will lose yourself, become a victim. But in reality, submission is not weakness but liberation. It’s a way to let go of unnecessary tension, to give up some control, and to learn to live in harmony with yourself and others. It is not a renunciation of freedom but a new form of it – the freedom to trust.
Society has demonized these states for centuries. Power was portrayed as oppression, submission as humiliation. Why? Because conscious power makes you strong, and conscious submission makes you free. Someone who understands their boundaries becomes unpredictable for the system. Stereotypes about power and submission are an attempt to keep you within the bounds of fear so that you don’t realize they can be tools of self-discovery.
Scientific research confirms that power and submission are deeply connected to psychological resilience. Activation of the prefrontal cortex, associated with managing situations, helps reduce anxiety and build confidence. And trust, arising in the process of submission, reduces the activity of the amygdala, responsible for fear, and allows you to feel safe.
Your fears are rooted in childhood. When you were taught that power is evil because it oppresses, and submission is weakness because it makes you vulnerable. But true power is self-control, and submission is acceptance. They show you the boundaries of your personality and teach you how to interact with others. You are not afraid of them but of who you might become if you stop being afraid. Power and submission are not enemies but tools that can open the way to true freedom if you allow yourself to look in the mirror.
How Freedom Begins with Accepting Your Boundaries
Freedom is not chaos where anything goes, nor is it the absence of rules. It’s the ability to understand what you truly want and to realize where your desire ends and your responsibility begins. True freedom begins with accepting your boundaries. These boundaries are not a prison or an obstacle. They are the foundation of your personality, helping you to be yourself in a world full of expectations, pressure, and illusions.
We are used to perceiving boundaries as limitations. We were taught that being free means knowing no limits. But the truth is that boundaries give us freedom. They protect us from chaos, from unnecessary energy expenditure, from trying to please everyone at once. They tell us: "This is where you are. This is your territory. Here you can choose." Accepting your boundaries is the rejection of the illusion that you can be everything to everyone. It’s the realization that you don’t have to control everything and everyone, that there are things in the world that simply don’t depend on you. And that’s okay.
Boundaries are the map of your personality. Without them, you get lost in others’ expectations, forgetting what you want for yourself. You start living to conform rather than to be. But when you accept your boundaries, you stop scattering yourself. You learn to say "no" where it matters and "yes" to what helps you grow. This is not weakness but true strength. You stop trying to be perfect and start being yourself.
