On a neurological level, reassessing fear activates the prefrontal cortex, responsible for mindfulness and emotion management. According to the American Journal of Psychiatry (2021), mindful exploration of your fears reduces amygdala activity by 25%, decreasing the "fight or flight" response. This allows for more balanced decision-making and greater resilience, even in stressful situations.
But reassessing fear is not just biology. It’s a transformation of perception. When you start questioning where your fears came from, whose voices told you to be afraid, you notice that many of them have nothing to do with you. These are fears imposed by society, family, culture. They are not yours. And you can choose whether to listen to them or not.
What happens when you stop running? You begin to see that fears are not enemies. They are signals of where you are not yet free. Fears show you the areas you’ve always avoided. By reassessing them, you open new paths. You stop fearing power because you understand that you can use it to create, to manage your life. You stop fearing submission because you realize that trust doesn’t make you weak but makes you strong.
When you reassess your fears, you stop living within constraints. You start asking yourself new questions: "What can I do with this?" "How can I use this for my growth?" You no longer react automatically; you choose. And that is the key difference. You choose who to be, what to feel, how to live.
What awaits you if you decide to reassess your fears? Freedom. True freedom. The freedom to be yourself. You’ll begin to see that your fears are not a sentence but potential. They are what can make you stronger. You’ll understand that the fear of power is the fear of your own strength. And the fear of submission is the fear of trust. And when you deal with them, you’ll stop being afraid of yourself. And that means you’ll become free.
Part 1: The Brain Under Control
Chapter 1: What Happens in Your Head When You Give Up Control
Neural Circuits of Dominance: Dopamine and Oxytocin
When you enter the dynamics of power or submission, your brain initiates complex biological processes that turn these roles into sources of pleasure and emotional stability. This is not just a psychological experience – it is a neurochemical dance in which two hormones play the leading roles: dopamine and oxytocin. Together, they shape your response to control and trust, explaining why these states can be so attractive and liberating.
Dopamine: The Hormone of Motivation and Reward
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for motivation, anticipation, and the feeling of reward. When you take control, your brain rewards you with a surge of dopamine. This activates the reward system, giving you a sense of elevation, confidence, and satisfaction. You feel like you’re doing something right, that the world is in your hands. Power becomes not only an act of dominance but also a source of pleasure that comes from within.
Interestingly, submission, contrary to stereotypes, also stimulates the dopamine system. When you let go of control, the brain interprets this as a reduction in cognitive load. Cortisol levels – the stress hormone – decrease, while dopamine, on the contrary, rises, rewarding you for the ability to trust. This state resembles the feeling of peace after prolonged tension when you allow yourself to simply exist.
